Hubbers Anonymous
60HubPages Addict - I Need Hubbers Anonymous
Ahem. Hello, my name is Shirley and I'm a Hubaholic.
This is my first time voicing this in front a group but I'm confident that I'm not alone in my affliction, that there are others out there who need a hubbervention. (new word - hubber + intervention)
If this hub can help just one hubber conquer the HubPages monkey, then my work will have been successful. (See, admitting the truth is helping already, I only used the word, 'hub' three times in one sentence)
Symptoms of Hub Addiction
You may be sitting there denying the truth about how strong the HP hold is on you. Believe me brothers and sisters of the hubs, you have to face it to conquer it.
Force yourself to look at the following list of warning signs and honestly reflect on whether or not they apply to you.
Benson is a doctor so listen up!
You May Be a Hubbaholic....
Warning Signs of Hubaholism
- The first thing you do upon rising is check your hubscore and comments
- You tell your spouse, "Not tonight honey, I've got a hub to finish"
- You leave family gatherings just to quickly check in at HubPages. Either you do this 18 times or you don't rejoin the others for 3 hours
- The Last Post forum thread is your idea of 'the good old days'
- You develop an alternate hub identity because of the Last Post forum thread (you know who you are and so do I!)
- Your hand trembles if the HP page load is slow
- You tell all your friends and family about the hubbers that you hang out with on the site. People who support your addiction become more and more important
- You spend a lot time thinking ahead to what your next 17 hubs could be about. It's vital never to run out, to be *gasp* hubless and risk the D.T.'s
- You only eat finger foods so you don't have to leave the computer. You've lost 36 lbs. but your cholesterol has quadrupled
- You feel stressed for time because you HAVE to get your hub done and published so you can hurry up and do the next one and the next, more, more, more! Pretty soon, you're spiralling out of control
- You start looking for ways to write more hubs faster, start hanging out in the forums and end up begging and pleading the prolific hubbers for their 'secrets'. Signs that you need a bigger, faster fix
- If you're writing 'hot' on a hub, you'll forgo eating, sleeping and working somewhere else to finish it in triumph
- You name your puppy or baby after another hubber
- You look for ways of working at home so you never have to sign out, in fact you're racking your brain trying to scheme up ways to make a living at hubbing
- When it comes to choosing whether to let your meal burn or finish your conversation with a fellow hub addict, the meal loses
- You often find that your legs are crossed or bouncing up and down because your bladder is about ready to burst, but you just want to finish up this hub first before going pee
- You take your laptop in the delivery room even though you're the one giving birth
- HubPages is named as the co-respondent in your divorce papers
______________________________________________________________
This Could Be You!
One Hubber's Sad Story
A Tale of the Ugly Side of Hub Addiction
in Maestrowhit's own words...
"I see that it is lunch time, so I get up from my PC and go to the kitchen to cook something. I place my food in the hot pan and wait for it to cook. I think to myself, "why wait here by the boring stove when I can go back to HubPages and finish that enthralling discussion I was in!" So I go back to my PC with every intention of getting right back after a few minutes to take my food off the hot stove. From the minute I type the first word, my internal clock gets all screwed up, and what seems like five minutes is actually fifteen minutes. I don't realize this until the scent of smoke reaches my nostrils. So be very careful! This has happened to me more than once. It could happen to you too!"
...and later, after reading Benson Yeung's professional advice
"Oh, crap! That reminds me.....MY TURKEY IS BURNING!"
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B.T. Evilpants
How One Hubber Deals with the Shame
B.T. Evilpants recently went public to openly acknowledge not only that he suffers from hubaholism but also the fact that he hides one of the more common tell-tale signs.
"Happens all the time. That's why I keep plenty of gravy on hand, to smother things."
_______________________________________________________________
Practical Advice from a Pro
Hi Shirley. One way to save your marriage is to have one more computer in the house so that you can video-skype with your better half while you both hub along. Or better still, you both hub on the same topic at the hubber's hangout. Disclaimer: this remedy has not been approved by the FDA and carry no scrutinized scientific evidence on it.
- Benson Yeung, Surgeon and all around smart hubaholic
Editor's note: One out of one doctor that we consulted here on HubPages endorses the careful use of hubbing. In moderation, it's perfectly safe and not habit forming.
How to Kick the Habit & How I've Failed Miserably
Kicking the habit, that's why we're here isn't it? Well okay, maybe not. Let's face it, we don't want to stop, or at least I don't want to. I don't even need to, I can quit any time I want. I just don't want to, I'm not ready.
What was I thinking when I decided to write this hub? All I've suceeded in doing is relishing in my addiction. A giant step backwards, if you will. I don't have any tips on how to quit!
If any of you are stepping up to the hubplate to take the plunge into the sterile world of hubsobriety, well my hat's off to you and I wish you much luck and ask that you please not try to convert the rest of us. I think, that short of the end of the world as we know it, most of us won't kick. We experimented and got sucked into the underground world of seedy topics and comments stuffed in brown bags and read down dark alleys.
Just talking about all this Hubbers Anonymous stuff is making me antsy to start another hub. Withdrawal kicks in so fast! To take liberty with some Brian Ferry lyrics, Hub is the drug I'm thinking of.
Other, More Serious Addictions
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CommentsLoading...
The real question is, "Is every addiction a problem?" I mean, why would you want to kick the habit? :p
This is fantastic and I did leave Thanksgiving early so that I could publish and write, and I have burnt things as the hubis priority, yes I am addicted and it is a wonderful addiction!! I love it and thank you for writing iT!! Happy Thanksgiving and now I can grab a quick snack.:)
That's hysterical! You have plenty of support here :) I have lots of favourites amongst your warning signs, but the winner has to be naming your puppy or baby after another hubber. I have frequently checked my hubscore when there have been guests here. And I've always got about 10 hubs on the go, lest my hub supply should run dry...
Hi - I'd just like to say there is a really simple solution to the burnt dinner problem: a laptop- so you can hub in the kitchen! BTW as soon as we stopped camping and rented a flat guess what the 2nd thing we bought was: the first was a microwave, the 2nd - a laptop for my partner so he didn't get between me and the hubs!
Too funny, Shirley! I wondered if it was a little sad that I looked forward to Thanksgiving dinner ending so that I could get home and check my hub traffic. :D
I do NOT have a problem! I can quit any time I want! Really. Maybe I happen to like my food burned, and smothered in gravy.
Shirley I can't stop giggling. What a way to capture the intensity of hubbing. I love it. Stuff like this give ma a high. LOL. What a fix! hahaha. Keep them coming.:)
Hello, my name is Dineane, and I'm a Hubber...
I am reading this after just finishing our Thanksgiving dinner, so I guess it gives me away as Hubaholic. LOL! Your hub made smile, and I tell ya, I am very grateful for this community of diverse writers that keeps me entertained, informed and oftentimes inspired.
"And... hello, my name is Marie and I am a hubaholic, and proud of it! hehe"
Hello, my name is Daisy, and I'm in denial. LOL. Oh boy, I think I'm delirious now. Thanks Shirley...(starting to get groggy) will be ...back for more..:)
(jerks up) Huh? Say what? Oh...hehe.. (drops to sleep and dreams of the next hub she MUST write)
Hahahah yes dear Shirley. I was just in my "creative mood", thanks to you. I like to fool around with friends and use my acting ability to have fun. I do enjoy these exchanges with you. This type of session is really helpful for a Hubaholic like me. LOL. Do have a good rest. Godbless:)
You can say that again! LOL. See, this comment box has now turned into a chat service. hahahahaha. Now I know where to go for a fix:)
My name is Annie and I too am a Hubaholic - just love it - must admit that I have oversteamed vegetables, left meat on the oven a wee bit too long just so that I can check the score, hot hubs, laughs on hubs, & to see who is involved with whom in some convoluted issue ....it's all a bit of an addictive worry really, but oh so much fun! no cure I'm afraid...
Hi, Shirley!
If I count correctly, you list 18 Warning Signs of addiction. So if, say, a certain Hubber has only 11 out of 18, then I ... er... they, ummm, don't have a problem, right?
A ... friend of mine ... yeah, that's it ... a friend of mine wants to know.
And for myself, I gotta say, Great Hub!
I don't suffer from hubaholism, at all. I enjoy every second of it! I am a functioning hubaholic. And I never hub and drive!
Dear Shirley,
very smart and well-rehearsed use of ideas from the recent forum thread, another sign of severely diseased hubaholics. You should start drinking beer to kill off the slowest functioning brain cells. That's your only chance.
Now THAT sounds like the voice of wisdom! You should listen, Shirley. It would probably be a bad idea to question a doctor's advice. I would start with a Labatt's. In fact, I already did!
very intreresting
LOL, now that I was almost quitting hubpages you just ruin it :D
Oh well, I´m going to put my dinner into the oven... and now lets keep reading some hubs :D
Honestly, I try everyday to avoid coming here but it´s stronger than me :rolleyes:.
Sometimes you just have to quit quitting, funride. Sometimes what you need, is a little hair of the dog.
@ B.T. Evilpants - ... hair of the dog!? LOL I guess you´re right, I am now quitting quitting :D
@ Shirley - I would love to say it goes to heaven but in fact it goes up to a fire watcher tower. BTW, I took this photo myself with the camera on the ground. You can see it bigger here http://photos2.hi5.com/0053/884/217/XZ7Evo884217-0 , on the background you can see Obidos Lagoon which it´s not far from where I live ;)
It seems to me that there are many hub addicts 'round here. :) Wait. You may have left out a lot of others who still don't admit. :O
That was GREAT!!!!! I too am a Hubaholic...It's because I hang out here with all the people my mother warned me about
Hello, My names comp, and I too am a hubaholic! It seems, Shirley, like we are not alone and compared to my other addictions, this one, i can be proud of, and u2;) and Im so glad your an addict! :)
Hi Shirley!, i have been confused many times too! trying to find the real me!:/
Im working on a new avatar!!, i did think of comments that people have made relating to my original avatar! so i have placed a pic in pic, i was thinking of a pic, in pic in pic!
Watch this space..
Oh well, no more furry pants:(
:D
I understand it all -- No Internet conenction is fast enough and I want a voice recognition program so I no longer must type.... And 5 computers so I can do multiple Hubs at once.
My technique is to limit my hub time to 10 or 15 minutes. Unfortunately, I do that at least 6-8 times a day. If my wrist watch had an internet connection and a keyboard, I'd think i died and went to heaven!
Think I'll pass on that one, thanks. I get a little scared, every time he goes down into that bunker. I heard barking down there, just yesterday.
I'm sorry to be avoiding you Shirley on this subject but I am in denial and am not ready to admit it yet. I'll be back later with an update!:)
Hilarious Hub :), I think we are mostly in the denial stage. Hubaholic is a great word.
I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubhaolic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic, I am not a hubaholic!!!!!
Glad I got that off my chest.
I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial, I am not in denial,
Hi Shirley, I dreamt I was in front of a computer writing a hub and woke up with my hand typing in the air. Gosh am I getting screwed up in the head? LOL Dr. Benson, help, I need an appointment! :) tee hee
I guess I just don't see what the addict gets out of HP. Hardley MONEY! At least with drugs you get high. Just a dabbler.
Very funny hub! I so relate! I used to be addicted to the computer, period. I was literally glued to it in every waking spare moment. Remember that commercial, 'it's 10 pm, do you know where your children are?', well, my kids definitely knew where mom was :)
I have to say, I have since weaned myself from having to sit in front of this thing, I can actually leave it for a day or even two at a time, without suffering withdrawals. However, when I do sit here, the first thing I do is check hubpages. It used to be eBay, and the good news is, this addiction doesn't cost a penny. So, I can justify my addiction to hubpages. It's saving me money :)
Hi Ripplemaker,
you don't need an appointment. You just need beer. If you really want to consult me. We both need the skype video running in the background of our hubbing. Still we will not have enough time for that. I suppose just the beer will do.
Trish,
look out. If something doesn't cost you money, it usually causes a part, usually quite substantial, of your life.
Hi Shirley,
sorry that I have un-invitedly co-hosted your hub. You probably will understand and forgive this kind of obsessvie compulsive behavior in a fellow hub-aholic. I have really done well today, not signing in for 23 hours in a row and rightly deserve a pat on the shoulder.
cheers.
Shirley, I used to feel that way. It was so bad that even if I had company, I had to have the computer on, and when I went visiting, I made sure to be near a computer. After all, I might miss finding my knight in shining armor, or miss the email that said I was the grand prize winner of $1,000,000. Hah! how mistaken I was. And how very pathetic LOL,,
You can do it though! Really!
LOL, it's not as awful as it seems Shirley
Benson, I'll give up part of my life for this, where else could I go and be entertained, be sociable and educated all at once? all from the privacy of my own home. I love it! :)
LOL Shirley, you're like a cat, just waiting to pounce! Is that another symptom?
My wife has taken my computer from me. But I'm not worried. I have another one stashed under the mattress and another in the garage. In a pinch there's always the computers at the library. Come home with a copy of "Spatial Relationships in Escher Paintings" and she's none the wiser.
Yes I was Shirley...I guess I do have symptoms....ok I'm slowly coming out of denial...are you watching me, by any chance? pounce
Shirley, this is priceless! I'm a hubaholic too, and I have suffered from all of the symptoms Benson has mentioned...except for constipation. I hesitate to mention this to other hubaholics because it's frightening to talk about, but my hubtivity has decreased over the past few days due to...intermittent loss of internet service!
Yes, it's true, and yesterday I lost internet totally. It was dead, and it was horrible. I broke out in a sweat, I got the shakes and became irritable, my hair stood out on end - all 2 feet of it, and I could of sworn I saw Jesus. I started plotting how to steal internet from some place else. Like maybe I could take my son's laptop and drive around till I could pick up on someone else's wireless signal, but he locked himself (and the laptop) in his room and told me to go take a nap or something. I had to take 4 naps. It was ugly, very ugly. ;)
Thanks for the chuckles Shirley! ;)
Shirley if you are still spying please go and check your mailbox. There is a surprise for you it is soooo beautiful and it is not from me. Wait till you see it. Go get it now. I know you are spying. GO to the mailbox NOW!
Fabulous hub Shirley--I like to think that I've conquered my addiction and that these days I am a social hubber--but perhaps I am just in denial :-) I don't have the physical signs--no insomnia or constipation and just what is a libido anyway???... and my Thanksgiving turkey didn't burn( but of course I didn't cook it) so I must be cured of my addiction, right??? ROTFL
Isn't it beautiful Shirley. Ya, I like that....Charlie's Angels! You are all on my Wall of Fame! LOVE IT! :)
BTW...it is after 10:00 pm and have not braked for dinner. Is this a sign? LOL I'm sooo hungry.
Hello Shirley and Dottie, it is simply adorable to witness your reaction to the surprise. I guess the surprise was partly caused by Hubaholism and Hublovinism?LOL.:)
Here is three of Charlie's Angels. Where is the other one! Where oh where can the ripplemaker be. Oh where oh where can she be!
(shirley, you don't mind me clicking on that ad under me do you? It said from the Boston area so had to check it out);) (if anyone wants to come down to Boston for the Rich Dad's education come on down Dec. 16 - 18. I'll put you's all up!
She's coming...she's back on line..wait for her....
Hahaha hello shirley, daisy and dottie!!! You like it? dottie, don't print it out yet, we would like to send you the one with the original photo size... hahahah that's funny you also thought of the name charlie's angels because that's what I told daisy. There is also another term I thought of -christmas angels! Hahahha
Dear Fellow Hubaholics, There is an urgent chat conference going on. Please wait for your turn and Shirley will get back to you soon.:)
Damn Rich Dad knocked me off line. I want my money back! Shirley it is after midnight I haven't had dinner yet! I'm going to die soon! I need water, Help Dr. Benson, Help!
I could not resist it. I saw an openning and had to do something. I couldn't just let it go like that. Please forgive me....
Charlie's angels is fine with me. LOL at least it will not be for xmas only. I like that. I would like to hug the 3 of you now at the same time. {(( hugs ))}
Good night all my sweet angels. I need food. Talk to you all tomorrow! Love you guys to pieces. Sweet dreams.
Good night and sweet dreams to Charlie's Angels. Shirley will be back online soon. Take care all:)
Dr. Benson, I don't drink beer. LOL Good night shirley and dottie. It's lunch time here so i might take a nap too...after all the typing. See you later daisy. :)
Spryte, Evil-Pants , Dayzeebee, Dottie, Hot Dork(age), JimmyJock, Maddie.
I swear i don't mean to be rude but I would love to name my future puppies with these really cute names. (",)
WOW!! Nice hub about something I didn't knew I had until I read the symptom's now I got to take appointment from our in house Doctor Benson. I wonder if my insurance would cover it. What is that smell?..... Dang there goes my curry on the stove ruining my kitchen stove..Got to attend to it and will back....hehe
Shirley, As I produced a serious hub several months back, but I am afraid by being subtle, trulynot wanting to be impolite by addressing such erudite persons with the fact that they have a 'problem', I chose to soft soup around that delicate issue and tried to reason with them, the writing was on the wall! http://hubpages.com/hub/The-almost-Secret
Great hub
Hi Shirley - Noticed there was yet another one in the same vein :)
We're all in the same soup!
LOL, thank you Shirley. The good news is that I have lived to talk about my intermittent internet loss problem, and I haven't killed anyone. ;)
I hope Benson can invent a pill because I don't want you or any of us to be forced into a lobotomy. :) Actually, maybe we just need some tips on how to hide our addiction. Or good excuses. Or a doctor's note. ;)
I forgot to mention last night that I got so tickled over your editorial note..."One out of one doctors..." LOL! Good one! ;)
I maintain that I am not an addict! I simply need to keep coming back, because you just never know when some big-shot publisher is going to leave a comment, with a multi-million dollar job offer. You know what I mean?
LOVE this Hub! LOL - I see myself in just about every warning sign (not sure, if that is a good or bad thing), maybe it is just the addiction talking...I am certainly glad that there are so many of us...many who will not even admit they have a problem like B.T. up there (living in denial will not make it go away). I ADMIT IT! Fellow Hubbers are the only people that truly understand and I will gladly enable any fellow Hubber :)
I am not a hubaholic. I do not have a problem. My dearly beloved thinks I have. But she is mistaken. I often spend a day away, sometimes even two but then I have play comment catch up (like now for instance). I only publish around once a week, usually limited to hubmobs! So there!
Sixty, I have heard that being addicted to something, does not necessarily mean that you need it every day. It only means that you need it! You may be in the early stages of hubaholism, and the late stages of denial. The sooner you realize this, the easier it is to deal with! In the mean time, have a beer!
Shirley,
You can call me Mr furrypants again as i have added me under kitty!:)
Good Morning Ms. Hubaholic:
Just stopped by to see if my rehab appointment had been set by the doctor! Not yet I see. He's probably trying to beat out his 23 hr. hubber signon withdrawal symptoms.
LOL to Ashwin - like Shirley says, you got it bad boy but if your puppy needs a middle name it would be Dottie Marie!;)
And Shirley, we got a new kid on the block. Let us not fight over him ok. I won't pull your hair if you promise not to scratch out my eyes, please pinky swear!
Hello Shirley! Just dropping by to get a glimpse of "new addictions" for the day. LOL I'm off to work in a little while so you all take care.. :)
Shirley,
congratulations on turning a hundred, yet again. I don't mean your age of course.
Ok, so maybe I have a small problem. But it hasn't effected me at all. Really! Just ask my wife. Hey, wait a minute. I don't see her anywhere...and the closet is empty. Hmm...
Great hub. Hopefully i will soon be as good at writing hubs. Please visit my hubs and comment if you feel like it. Thanks
I joined hubpages two weeks ago and I am on here everyday, probably more than I need to be. Thank you for opening my eyes. I now understand whats going on.
Great hub.
Hello my name is Dorsi and I'm a hubaholic. I am here because I'm not giving up hubbing.LOL!!!!!!!!!
Hysterical hub- gotta love it!!!
Thumbs up!!
Guess you found a topic that really speaks to the people - my finger grew tired as I scrolled through the comments...though I am a relatively new hubber, I can see how one might develop an addiction. (Though isn't a hub addiction far better than a vain FB addiction?)Pointed question, I know.
I can't believe that it took so long to read this one. I love it. I have to admit that I suffer from it, too. I am horrible at it. My excuse is that I have to be polite to read the messages and since it is making money it needs my attention. I need some excuse.
Fantastic Hub! This is so true and so funny. Thanks for opening my eyes.


















































jimmythejock Level 4 Commenter 3 years ago
Welcome to the club fellow addict lol.....jimmy