Change Your Life in 2009
63
Buddha Says
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"Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does."
Douglas Noel Adams
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"Nothing happens until something moves."
~Albert Einstein~
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Change Your Life This Year
Have you ever been dissatisfied with your life?
You may not be doing anything differently than you were before you felt this way, yet somehow all the colour has been washed from your world.
It may be hard for you to put a label on it. As you wander around, going through the motions, you scream inwardly that you need something to change. NOW!
This gnawing unhappiness didn't happen all at once. You were going along just fine, minding your own business, thinking things were okay. You were feeling optimistic, or at least content. The shift was so gradual that you didn't notice at first. Initially, you thought you were having a few bad days. You felt, 'off'. Days turned into weeks. That unhappiness and dissatisfaction grew and grew until it became the prevelant theme of your life. Eventually, it began to seep into your relationships, finances and health.
If someone asked you to describe your symptoms, they probably sounded like these typical ones:
- Boredom or restlessness that increases with time
- Waning interest in things you used to enjoy
- Frustration, feeling 'stuck in a rut'
- Confusion, not knowing what to do
- Decrease of mental and physical energy
- Feelings of depression or wondering if you're depressed
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Famous Quotes on Life
"Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, 'This is the real me,' and when you have found that attitude, follow it."
James Truslow Adams
"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it.
I want to have lived the width of it as well."
Diane Ackerman
"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
Joseph Addison
Helpful Tips for Changing Your Life
I don't personally know of anyone who has not gone through a dark period like the one mentioned above, at least a couple of times in their life. Hopelessness and that sense of not knowing what to do reign supreme. It feels awful. It feels like you'll go crazy if something doesn't change immediately.
The good news is that you can do something about it. You can make the changes that you so desperately long for.
Be Still
Find a way to just sit and be peaceful. People often ignore their inner guidance when they are experiencing turmoil. Often times, it can be difficult to access it because the mind likes to hang onto problems and regurgitate them endlessly. A way to fix that is to become still and listen to what your instincts are trying to tell you. If you find it challenging to quiet your mind, try deep breathing or meditation. Do whatever works for you. Relax and hear what your gut has to say. You will likely get clues on how to help yourself.
Change Your Perspective
Recently, I read about an exercise that suggested seeing five different perspectives on a problem or goal. For example, if you're stressed about a financial problem, try looking at it through other people's eyes. How would your banker see it? What advice would your father give you? How would a trusted friend or mentor look at things? You don't have to use what you come up with, but you might find a solution there. You also may get a fresh, different idea of your own as a result of stepping outside your habitual viewpoints.
Do Things Differently
You can start small. Instead of reading the paper with your morning coffee, try sitting quietly and enjoy the view outside your window. Or pay attention to how your family interacts as they start their day. Take a different route to work; garden or walk intead of parking yourself in front of the T.V. Heck, if all you can manage is brushing your teeth with your other hand, start there. Shake things up to break the cycle of boring, rutted routine. You'll be changing what you're paying attention to and your mind will begin to let go and allow fresh thoughts in.
Engage With Others
There is a tendency to withdraw when we are feeling unhappy and dissatisfied. We become disconnected from others and sink deeper into the mire of our rut. You may have to force yourself at first, but don't worry. Again, you can start small if you need to. Start with asking the store clerk how she is while you're checking out, move up to a five or ten minute conversation with a friend or relative. Increase your re-entry into the world of people and you will become social again when you feel ready.
Find Something Interesting to Do
As it may be hard to feel interested in anything, this may take a bit of thought and looking around at various events and/or hobbies. Is there something you've always wanted to try? Now's the time to explore that. Anything that will bring your spark back is good. If your passion for something returns along with, all the better. Perfect, in fact.
Increase Self-Care
Get your hair done, file your nails, eat well and exercise. Do the things that people who take care of themselves do. If you've been having trouble sleeping, this will help with that, too. Above all, watch your self-talk. Say good things to and about yourself. You're an important person going through an important transition. You deserve praise, not put-downs.
Play, Have Fun, Laugh!
This is perhaps the most important tip of all. Having fun relieves stress and monotony. Your sunny disposition will return and you'll be able to view the future through more optimistic eyes. Your mind and body will feel refreshed, and your life will flow more smoothly. It will likely help you 'not sweat the small stuff'. After all, life is too short to stress over things that aren't that important in the bigger scheme of things.
Get Help If Necessary
Please don't hesitate to seek help if you need it. If you are seriously depressed, go see your doctor.
Improve Your Life This Year
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Comments (More Quotes by Famous People Below)Loading...
Thank-you so much, Hope! I'm honoured to be the source of confirmation you were looking for. All the best for '09, I'm sure your changes will be good ones!
Shirley: The exercise on changing perspective by seeing a situation from five different perspectives is interesting, it gets one out of thinking of the problem from the level we are stuck in. Had not heard of this method, and I like it! As I like to say, I alway learn something new by reading articles in hubpages. The standing still method is one I practice often. Clarity can come out by quieting our thoughts.
Thumbs up to your hub!
Hi, VS! Yes, I thought that was interesting, myself. It actually came from Bob Proctor. Getting out of your own thoughts is why I liked it. I only heard this a couple of days ago. Tried it on something small and it was really cool. The answer was right in front of me, but I was so stuck at looking my problem one way, that I didn't see the other (obvious) option. Duh!
You are so right about quiet thoughts and clarity. Those of us who think in hyper-drive have to put in extra practise on that one. :)
Thanks for the thumb-up, Violet Sun!!
Hi Shirley , these sound like great tips, especially the one about getting out of your own thoughts. I am going to try that.!
Now let's see what would those ET probers be thinking?
Seriously though, good Hub. Thumbs up!
:-[)
Oh, I think I can guess what ET and the gang would be thinking, Ag. ;)
Cute smiley face you made there, I haven't seen one like that before. I'm gonna try. :-[) Wow, 4 keystrokes. That's a special smiley.
Thanks for the nice words and the thumbs up, Ag!
This is great advice for folks who are down in the dumps, Shirley. It always helps to look at things from another perspective. Sometimes being still is what's needed, but I think more often people need to find interesting things to do, and especially to engage with others, as you suggest. My late wife had a plaque on the kitchen wall that I think leads the way to happiness; it read something like this: "Happiness is not in having what you want; happiness is in wanting what you have."
Thanks, William.
Your wife was a wise lady. I've seen that saying on signs before (in an elevator, the last time) and I think it's great. Funny thing is, that you often get what you want once you are happy with what you have. A shift in perspective can be a wonderful thing.
Actually, all of the things that I included in this hub are a compilation of things I go through when I know I need to change something but feel helpless about it. I wrote this hub for myself as much as anyone, but I hope it helps others, too.
Love your hub Shirley! There are so many positive ways to change our lives for the better. If we so desire it, then it will be so. In my case, a lot of changing of perspectives helped me see things in a different light. Somehow, a new path opens up and there..right there, it constantly delights and surprises me when wisdom comes. Woh! Life is amazing huh? And so are people ... like you! :-)
Hello Shirley, thumbs up for a great hub! All these tips are useful indeed and am bookmarking it for reference. Hmm I think I like to increase my self care and get my hair done again. Changing perspectives by role playing is pretty interesting to do too. Hey this could work well for our workshops!LOL. Thanks Shirley and Godbless:)
You've already helped me with a many-a-problem which I appreciate very dearly! And this hub will help hoards of people!!
My "gut" tells me to vote for you by clicking the green thumbs up button!
Also -- LOVE the quotes! :)
ProCW
Good article which can guide youngsters.
Thank-you, Michelle! Yes, it is amazing when you discover that the answer was right there in front of you the whole time. Makes me chuckle and shake my head. You are amazing, too! Thanks for bringing your sweet self to my hub, Angel Michelle.
Hey, Daisy! Thank-you for the thumbs up! I can't remember the last time I got my hair done. It's on my list of things to do this year. Hey, I hadn't thought of that applying to your Be Out Of The Box business. Hope it helps somehow. For those who don't know about Daisy's biz, look here: http://beoutofthebox.blogspot.com/
I also just discovered that Daisy is listed on Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daisy_Ba-ad
Thanks for your kind comment, Daisy. It's always good to hear from you!
Aww, ProCW, thanks but I think it's been the other way around, at least mostly. So no, thank-you! I love what your gut is telling you, thx. Yeah, I had to stop myself with the quotes, there were so many good ones. Thanks for being so sweet, my friend.
Prasadjain, thank-you for your kind words, I appreciate them.
Despite my being hectic with hubbing, I have renewed ties with my non-virtual friends - nothing like the holidays, and throw in a birthday - to bring friendly ghosts from the immediate past. And I say a resounding yes to you tip on engaging with others. The rest of your advices seem to be more achievable with them around. If there's one thing I would never change this year, well, it's the friends that I keep! Thanks for serving these bits wisdom - the Shirley way! :D
Cris, you're such a sweetie! Have I already told you that? :)
Kudos to you for staying connected with others. That's not something I excel in. They connect with me, but at times it gets to be overwhelming and all time consuming, so I withdraw for a bit to catch my breath and get caught up on other things, like work. Guess a little balance wouldn't hurt.
By the way, if you have many good friends, it means you are one yourself. :)
Thanks for dropping by my humble hub, Cris!
Shirley - This is an excellent hub and a great read !! One of the key concepts repeated by the founder of the martial art of Aikido is that "true victory is victory over one's self" (letting go of ego is to "get over ourselves"). We help our students achieve relaxation through a specific breathing exercise because a calm, relaxed mind sees things more clearly. Finally, your point about changing your perspective on things is important...Dr. Wayne Dyer put it so well when he said, "when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". Sometimes it is difficult because people want the things around them to change to suit them. As you get older (like me), you realize that the only thing YOU can change is YOURSELF. Keep up the good work, Shirely...Danny
Shirley - This is an excellent hub and a great read !! One of the key concepts repeated by the founder of the martial art of Aikido is that "true victory is victory over one's self" (letting go of ego is to "get over ourselves"). We help our students achieve relaxation through a specific breathing exercise because a calm, relaxed mind sees things more clearly. Finally, your point about changing your perspective on things is important...Dr. Wayne Dyer put it so well when he said, "when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". Sometimes it is difficult because people want the things around them to change to suit them. As you get older (like me), you realize that the only thing YOU can change is YOURSELF. Keep up the good work, Shirely...Danny
Shirley - This is an excellent hub and a great read !! One of the key concepts repeated by the founder of the martial art of Aikido is that "true victory is victory over one's self" (letting go of ego is to "get over ourselves"). We help our students achieve relaxation through a specific breathing exercise because a calm, relaxed mind sees things more clearly. Finally, your point about changing your perspective on things is important...Dr. Wayne Dyer put it so well when he said, "when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". Sometimes it is difficult because people want the things around them to change to suit them. As you get older (like me), you realize that the only thing YOU can change is YOURSELF. Keep up the good work, Shirely...Danny
LOL, Danny - What you said in your comment is so good, it bears saying three times!
I agree that we take ourselves too seriously. Life is supposed to be fun and so few of us are enjoying it. Isn't it amazing how different the world can look once we relax? Deep breathing is so helpful in that regard.
I'm an admirer of Dr. Dyer. I started reading his books decades ago (when he had hair :)). He shares so many good perspectives and quotes that give me pause for thought.
I think that these days, all of the high profile pundits of life change spread that message of only being able to change yourself. It's true. We are the only ones that we have control of.
Where did that saying come from? "If you want to change your life, change your mind".
Thanks for another wonderful comment, Danny! In triplicate. :)
Excellent tips. Change perception and do things differently...my personal best and tried ones too. Thumbs up.
"Our greatest battles are that with our own minds" Jameson Frank...seems like the best way to say it to me...and much good advice here especially about socializing and changing the way you do things...Change helps a lot... Thanks G-Ma :o) Hugs & Peace
Shirley - I googled the quote you spoke of and it indicates that the author is "unknown"
Hi Shirley: I recently went to my shrink and told him that whenever I think about things, I get very depressed. He said, "Don't think about things." (rimshot!)
But seriously folks, I particularly like the first thing up there about changing your perspective. That sounds like a worthwhile excercise and I will try it the next time I feel the need. I also find it interesting about doing things differently, like taking a different route to work. This is something we were encouraged to do in acting school to prepare for playing different characters. For example, a particular character might shave in a way that I personally don't. It was supposed to make us more open to making acting choices that are different from our status quo and you never know what you might discover. I can see how it could have the same purpose just for yourself.
Thanks for the great hub. We must have another coffee klastch soon!
Very Nice hub ! All points are of worth considering :-)
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Shirley! Changing perspective and doing things differently are fabulous "problem solving" techniques. Like, if you're stuck somewhere, why would you think attempting the same approach all over again will change the end result? Great read, with great ideas and I loved the quotes!
Thanks, Anjalic! You just gotta shake things up once in a while or go mad. Well, I do, anyway. :)
G-Ma, I haven't heard/read that quote before, but it's a good one. Thanks for sharing it. Change seems to be the theme for 2009. That's okay, I'm all for it.
Danny, thank-you for checking that out! How about this one: "If you always do what you did, you'll always get what you got."
Okay, Christoph, is there a smiley for *groan*.
Wow, I picked something that somebody actually does? Cool. All of the things mentioned here, I wrote on the fly, they're just parts of my personal experience. Don't tell anybody that I'm not a real doctor, though. It would flush my credibility right down the tubes. :)
Coffee klatch sounds good. I AM going to make it back to your blog asap, BTW. I've been overloaded as of late, sorry.
Thanks for sharing that bit about actors and validating one of my aforementioned techniques. It made me feel all clever, even though it came from something I read.
Clara, thank-you! Hope there is something here that is helpful to you.
Elena - those two points seem to be the popular favourites. I think they clear away some of the cobwebs so you can get a fresh viewpoint. You're right too, about there not being any change in the end result if you keep doing things the same way. It's kind of like hitting your head against a brick wall - it hurts and nothing happens, except maybe your forehead bleeds. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
For everyone who liked the quotes, there's more right below the comment box.
Look down. \/ See? They're right there. \/ Again, they are down below. \/
Shirley, this is wonderful--thank you! I have felt a bit stuck over the past few months, so I will take your advice to heart. This year, my only resolution was to renew my yoga practice and after two classes, I've begun to incorporate more meditation and breath awareness into my life. I've found that when I'm most stressed out, I start taking very shallow, frantic breaths. When I'm more aware of my breathing, I take deep, calming breaths that help restore a sense of peace and possibility in my life. It's amazing how at the moment we think we need to speed up, often the best thing we can do for ourselves is slow down. Thank you for sharing these insights with such wisdom and clarity!
Wonderful hub Shirley! Thanks for the inspiration. I am hoping 2009 will be better for all of us. We have to do our part, of course! Your suggestions are very helpful. :)
Melissa, I've noticed that my breathing tightens up when I'm stressed, too. I've also noticed that sometimes I forget to breathe, or nearly. When I realize that I'm at that point, I stop, look around and take some deep breaths. It really helps to calm down the whole system. You're right, the time you need to regain calm is when you don't think you have time to. Thank-you for your great comment. Hope 2009 is great for you.
Thanks, Amy Jane! 2009 will be better than 2008. I've decided. :)
The quote sounds like one I always refer to: "Insanity is doing things the way you always have...and expecting a different result".
Great advice and very to the point. I especially liked the five perspective model, I'll have to try that out some time.
Excellent Article, I love your advice :)
A brilliantly thought out and evocative hub, i stumbled here for a reason me thinks!! Am gonna enjoy putting this into practise, thanks so much..
Great tips! I've started a few of those (sitting still and taking better care of myself). I'm feeling like a different person already.
Thanks for pulling all this together.
Some sound advice there, Shirley...! Thanks for writing this!
Take care now,
T. C.
Danny, I'd forgotten that one! It's a good one and so true! Thanks for mentioning it.
KVVK, thanks. Yes, trying different perspectives seems to be the favourite. I tried it for the first time a few days ago, and was delighted that it actually helped me. That's why I put it in here. I thought maybe others could benefit from it, too.
Thank-you so much, Writer83. I hope there's something here that will prove helpful for you.
Christy, me thinks you're right. ;) Thank-you very much for those wonderful words! I hope there's something here that helps you. I'd love to hear of any success as a result.
RGraff, did you start the being still and taking better care of yourself as a New Year's resolution? The reason I ask is because we aren't that far into 2009. If you're noticing a difference already, then it works pretty darn quickly. I love things that work quickly!
Thank-you, TC! Love your colourful, open hands, by the way. :)
Excellent tips. Even if you are not depressed or in a rut some of those tips are a useful to re-invigorate yourself. Another thing I find quite refreshing is to contact a relative or friend that you have not communicated with in along time. This could lead to some interesting exchanges. I really like the 5 perspectives approach to resolving an issue too!. I loved your quotes as well.
Great hub. Reminds me of a saying: Nothing Changes if Noihing Changes ---and it's true.
Thanks, Sixty. Actually, that's a great idea about invigorating yourself. That'll help keep the rut away. You smart cookie, you! Re contacting a friend or relative that you haven't spoken to in a while, I think that can go one of two ways: either you feel really happy afterwards or you remember why you stopped calling them. :) The 5 perspectives approach is winning in 'best tip' category, hands down. I can't take credit for it (it came from Bob Proctor) but I think it's great. Glad you enjoyed the quotes!
Kawheeta, thank-you. And you're right - it is so true. Sometimes we suffer needlessly, don't we?
My life is WHITE,
there is a foot of snow on the ground.
I am staying in a large den and surviving on tree bark.
I can not eat all the Keebler Peanut Butter Crackers being tossed out because they are contaminated, I am starving BUT,
My Faith in Mother Nature does not wane. Spring is right around the corner, that will mark the wild thing dance, eat more bark, keep my chin up and my strength. Doc says it is about time I lost a few pounds, miss the Christmas Fare,
Change Is Coming. One thing we can always count on.
Wouldn't you agree?
Great motivational article. I am not so good with change but I will try it for a change.
Great Article, thanks
poorQpine, I do agree with you! One thing you can count on is change, except from a vending machine. Well, it goes something like that, anyway.
Sorry to hear that you're starving, PQP! Luckily though, it sounds like you have a lot to look forward to in the coming months. Enjoy!
LOL, Foxility. It's good to try change for a change. Thanks for dropping by!
2009 my year for a change i thought i wouldn't improve but things are really turning out. I need to be with my friends laugh some more. Any advice?
Well, Crazichic, that's something you and I both need to work on. I spend so much time at the computer, that months can go by and I haven't left the house.
This past weekend, I had to go out of town (didn't want to) to attend to some family stuff. It was great! I came home refreshed and happier. So, if you get a chance to socialize once it a while, grab it. Also, walking in nature is extremely good. Once the weather gets nicer, have people over for BBQ and/or drinks on the patio or something like that.
Here's to 2009 - a year of phenomenal luck and tons of fun!!
...and here's to the next 1000 fans coming even faster! Congrats Shirley - proud to be one of them! :)
Aww, Shalini! Thank-you, that's so sweet of you!
Thanks Shirley, certainly some great advice you have. My life have been constantly changing with significant changes over the last 3 years. I am constantly trying to look at things from different perspectives and it has definitely helped. WIll have to revisit this hub again, let alone others. Cheers.
You're very welcome, Awsydney. I've learned that sometimes you have to try to view situations from a different perspective to keep from crying or going crazy. :)
Best of luck with all your changes. I'm sure they'll have a positive outcome for you.
More Famous Quotes
"The best way to get something done is to begin." ~Anonymous~
"It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop." ~Confucius~
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." ~Mother Teresa quotes~
"Our greatest battles are that with our own minds." ~Jameson Frank~
"In time of difficulties, we must not lose sight of our achievements." ~Mao Tse-Tung~
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
"Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible." ~St. Francis of Assisi~
"The only cure for grief is action." ~George Henry Lewis~
"You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action." ~Anthony Robbins quotes~
"Success often comes to those who dare to act. It seldom goes to the timid who are ever afraid of the consequences." ~Jawaharlal Nehru~
Hope Wilbanks 3 years ago
Excellent hub, Shirley! This is too crazy, because my best friend and I are chatting this very minute about changes we want to make, and I told her that my word for 2009 is "CHANGE". :) I'm taking this as a confirmation. ;)